


Batty Duet

by Willa Shakespeare (AnonEhouse)



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Animal Transformation, Bats, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:19:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Willa%20Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the episode Duel, Blake and Jenna go down to a rather unexplained mystical planet to battle Travis and his mutoid pilot. Blake got bit by a bat canonically, but NOTHING HAPPENED. </p><p>I hate to see good crack potential wasted. So... I sent Avon down with Blake instead.</p><p>(Originally this had photo-manips. I particularly liked the bat with the nipple ring-- pity the pics are lost)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Batty Duet

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Avon glanced down from his unsteady perch in a particularly gnarled oak and scratched at his neck, frowning at the traces of blood. "I fear we are in for a very uncomfortable night. Unless you care to tempt the forces of nature by descending to the forest floor?"

Blake rubbed a small wound on the side of his neck and unobtrusively edged closer to Avon. "No, I can put up with the bats up here, but I'd rather not have anything larger snack on us."

Avon gave Blake a sideways smile, which seemed to gleam phosphorescently. _Must be an effect of the moonlight_ Blake thought, and then he thought again. _This planet hasn't **got** a moon._

And then Avon said, "Are you quite certain you wouldn't enjoy being eaten?" and proceeded to demonstrate. For about ten seconds.

"OW!"

"Sorry." Avon mumbled, disentangling his left front canine from Blake's cockring, sitting back and eyeing Blake's growing problem . "It's fortunate you were already pierced. I can't understand it. My teeth weren't this sharp last time." 

"I'll do you," Blake offered.

Avon kissed Blake, ran his tongue over Blake's teeth speculatively and winced. He sat back, stuck his tongue out and went cross-eyed trying to examine the damage. "No, you won't. We really must see about recruiting a dentist. The roughage concentrate Liberator serves is hard on the teeth, apparently."

"A little bit of rough wouldn't come amiss right now," Blake replied, waving for attention without using his arms, which impressed Avon favorably.

Avon blinked and considered the logistics. "How rough?"

Blake ran down a mental checklist of the things they hadn't yet tried (they'd been lovers for three days, and got through the basics fairly quickly) looking for something that might at least be _possible_ while perched in an old oak tree. "I've always admired your hands," Blake said, pushing his trousers down and edging around so that he was able to get a firm grasp on the tree trunk.

In turn, Avon admired the double full moon display. "Well, I _do_ like to get to the bottom of a mystery." Through sheer chance (having absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Blake and Avon had been scheduled to share a watch when Travis showed up and preempted everyone's attention) Avon just happened to have a sachet of Super-slick(TM) stuffed down inside his undershirt (pockets would have spoiled the line of his outfit). He ripped it open and applied it generously to his right hand and forearm, feeling particularly smug about having had the forethought (luck) to ask Gan for a manicure only the previous day.

Avon undid his own trousers as Big Boy (he liked to call it that when no one else was around to hear) was feeling claustrophobic, locked his legs around the branch and began showing Blake that allowing an arm-y access to your secret base could be very fulfilling.

Avon was used to multi-tasking, but it was still a strain on his resources not to fall off the branch, lose the marching rhythm that Blake seemed to like best, or let go of Big Boy, who was becoming extremely insistent on getting a bit more hands-on attention of its own.

"OW! Little _bastard_!" Blake clamped down on Avon's arm, cutting off circulation.

"Damn." Avon stopped moving. "If you'll relax, I'll disarm."

"It's not you!" Blake said. "Get the _bastard_ off ME!"

Avon peered forward and down as best he could in the gloom and with various prickly tree pieces in the way, and saw something rather large and furry in the area of Blake's groin. Nothing unusual there. He looked closer and saw one end of the fur was biting Blake's cock. "That's mine!" Avon yelled and swatted at the bat with his un-Blaked hand. The bat turned, flew at Avon, and latched onto Big Boy, biting and sucking with enthusiasm.

Avon yowled like a stepped-on tomcat and gave the bat a karate chop of his own invention. The bat gave him a buck-toothed sneer, burped a blood-bubble and flew off, furry tummy rounded so it swayed when it flew.

"I am not a happy camper," Blake announced, after Avon retrieved his now numb arm and the two of them turned to face each other and examine the evidence. 

"We've still got the tent poles, though," Avon said, looking down at the small bleeding incisions encircling their stiff cocks. They rather resembled maple trees being cut to collect the syrup, except for the lack of buckets. "Seems a pity to waste them."

"True. It doesn't even hurt any more." Blake licked his tongue across his lips, thoughtfully. "Maybe..." Blake's engineer's eye assessed the tree. "Right. You climb up and lie down there, with your arms and legs over that pair of branches, there and Big Boy can fit between _damn, Avon thought, I must talk in my sleep_. I'll just squeeze in on this bigger branch below, turned the other way 'round and you can reach me at the same time. No teeth, mind!"

Normally Avon would have argued because it was a Blake Plan, but at the moment, it sounded pretty good. 

Blake and Avon were giving each other a good lickin' when Avon became puzzled. Blake's wounds had seemingly healed, but he was getting smaller. "Retrograde progress," Avon muttered. The cockring was beginning to get in the way, so Avon unclipped it and put it through his left nipple for safekeeping (he used to wear the ring Anna gave him there, but his nipple turned green which was a surprise, because she'd sworn it was 24 karat gold.)

"Eh?" Blake said, equally puzzled. "This isn't very flattering," he said to Big Boy who was now Little Boy and shrinking further away from Blake's tongue with every pass.

Blake looked up at Avon. "Erm. Avon. You're very hairy."

"A sign of masculinity," Avon snapped, not wanting to admit how much he admired Blake's smooth chest. Which, now that he peered at it through the leaves, seemed to be getting rather fuzzy. In fact, Avon noticed lots of things were getting rather fuzzy.

"DAMN!" they both yelled.

Several minutes later Avon stretched out his wings and sighed. "You know Blake," he said as he used his tiny clawed feet to scramble down to Blake's branch, opening his wings to break his awkward fall, "the worst part of all this?"

"No," Blake said, noticing that, for a bat, Avon was really attractive, with melting dark eyes, glossy brown pelt, velvety ears and a gold ring winking seductively through the chest fur. And, for a bat, he was quite well endowed. "Well, beside the fact that we're still randy as hell."

"That _is_ the worst part. How do bats fornicate?" Avon took one step too many, flopped backwards, and just barely caught the branch again, but this time he was upside-down.

"Let's find out." Blake flapped over, flipped upside-down and caught the same branch. "Scooge over."

"Scooge? I don't scooge. And that's not even a word," Avon complained even as Blake wrapped leathery wings _quite like that sexy goose-turd green tunic of his,_ Avon thought to himself, around Avon's wiry bat-body and wriggled until he discovered how Things Fit. 

"Ahhh..."

All complaints stopped.

***

"Wake up, Avon."

Avon opened his eyes, then closed them. "Sunrise. What an un-alphan time to start the day." He stretched, and kept on stretching. "What!"

Human again, half-dressed, and lacking claws to hold on, the two tumbled from the tree, landing on top of Travis and his mutoid companion.

"Oh, no," Blake said, blinking from the shock of the impact. "Travis! He's dead. I must have broken his neck when I fell on him."

Avon rolled his eyes innocently, surreptitiously removed a few strands of black hair from his fingernails and reminded himself to swear Cally to secrecy about teaching him the Istanbul Twist. "Pity about that. So, what do we do with the mutoid?"

"Mutoid?" The young woman looked at them wide-eyed. "What's a mutoid? My name's Keira. Oh, my head hurts. And my stomach, too. Do either of you have any soma and adrenalin?"

Avon raised his eyebrows. "Vila _has_ been asking for a pet."

Sinofar and Giroc appeared. Sinofar said to Blake, "You killed him, but you did not wish to." She stared into Blake's eyes and smiled.

Avon glared at her. "You ought to cover up." He pointed at her nipples, pointing back at him through the sheer fabric of her gown. "You could catch your death ... of cold."

Giroc cackled. "Oooh, Avon's a lovely boy, isn't he?" She went over to Travis, picked up his head and wriggled it. There was a loud _Snap_ and Travis's eyes flew open. "I fixed him, I get to keep him!" Giroc grabbed Travis, flung him over her bony shoulder and began striding off with him shrieking and begging Blake for help.

Sinofar frowned. "I _don't_ think it's supposed to work out that way. Oh, well." She waved her hand and Blake, Avon and Keira appeared on the flight deck of the Liberator.

"Well, let's get out of here," Blake said boldly.

After a moment's silence, Jenna nodded and said, "Cally, why don't you take Vila's pet to medical and see what you can do for her while I take us out of orbit."

"I'll go with you," Vila said as Cally started to lead the way off the flight deck, "Come on, Keira. Lucky for you that it was Avon who landed on you instead of Blake, innit?" he said, gallantly offering her his arm.

Avon looked at Blake. Blake looked at Avon.

Gan got up from the couch and handed Blake a vid-disk. "Thought you might like this. Vila's got the other copies."

In Gan's carefully rounded precise lettering, the tape was labeled, "A/B -Not for sale to minors".


End file.
